Just Say No
I love sports. I love athletes. I want to meet athletes. However, if a present or former NFL player ever asks you to hang out, just say no. It has become blatantly obvious to me that NFL players are the rootinest, tootinest people on earth. When they aren’t shooting people, dogs, or drugs, they are shooting themselves. So as you enter the weekend, remember to have fun. But most importantly remember, if you see a NFL player, past or present, go home. Some stuff is about to occur.
Keep Your Day Job
After Nordberg was sentenced today, every news organization rushed to give the waiting public some semblance of years that would be served. What became clear was the fact that news organizations are not good with numbers. Three hours later I am still unable to decipher just how long Nordberg will be serving time in jail for beating up Rodney King. All I know is Naked Gun was an awesome trilogy and O.J. can kidnap me anytime. Well at least when he gets out in five, or six, or fifteen, or sixteen, or 33 years.
As the holiday season progresses and the wintry temperature in L.A. dips well below 80 degrees I become entranced in what is soon to be. My predictions for the next couple weeks:
I will gain weight and not realize it until I fall asleep one day from “too many cookies.”
America’s team, The Dallas Cowboys, will fail to make the playoffs as a special pre–Christmas gift to those Americans that never ever considered this team to be “America’s team.”
I will wish I had more Mexican friends to watch holiday soccer with.
Manny Ramirez will sign with the Anaheim Angels as the Dodgers look to over pay for someone past their prime.
My readership will jump to two as I decide to read my own blogs.