Marriage: Day 9

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Interesting fact about marriage gentleman, you can’t use your bed. You can’t plop on it. You can’t jump on it. And god forbid if you actually lay down on it.

I have also been introduced to the decorative pillow. This is a piece of furniture whose sole purpose in life is to annoy me. I can’t use it. Rather, I discard it before bed, and replace it after sleeping. The latter is proving all the more problematic. I have now been introduced on the finer points of how to sleep. I have been doing it for 31 years, but apparently, it has been incorrectly. That is all for now. More interesting shit is around the corner for sure. Good night.

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