Tag: marriage

Marriage: Day 9

by gabezal, posted in Life

Interesting fact about marriage gentleman, you can’t use your bed. You can’t plop on it. You can’t jump on it. And god forbid if you actually lay down on it.

I have also been introduced to the decorative pillow. This is a piece of furniture whose sole purpose in life is to annoy me. I can’t use it. Rather, I discard it before bed, and replace it after sleeping. The latter is proving all the more problematic. I have now been introduced on the finer points of how to sleep. I have been doing it for 31 years, but apparently, it has been incorrectly. That is all for now. More interesting shit is around the corner for sure. Good night.

Marriage: Day Two

by gabezal, posted in Life

The single most life-changing weekend of my life has come and passed. What I am left with is memories of an emotional event, and some semblances of a hangover. I couldn’t have asked for a better family to marry into, or one that has sent me off into the land of unreal responsibility.

Speaking of the latter. I have woken up at 8 am sharp every fucking morning. I am not sure if this is some strange cosmic joke, but I need my beauty sleep. I always wondered how my dad could wake up at the butt crack of 8 no matter the circumstances of the previous night’s events.

I also now have strange aches and pains where I had no previous knowledge that muscles existed. My knees hurt, my legs hurt, my back hurts, but I can hardly complain with an angel in the next room. An angel, by the way, who has infinite wisdom into how I should eat and exercise. YAY!

Speaking of my aching back, somewhere along the way, I sneezed and threw it out. Nice joke, but couldn’t I have injured myself in a less ridiculous way. It’s not all bad. I just feel pain when I cough, sneeze, laugh and breath. Otherwise, I’m skating man.

Once again, I’m shattered, tattered and torn, but I couldn’t be any happier. Strange how life is sometimes.