Designated Driver – A Re-cap of Time

9:45 – Show up at friend’s house

9:46 – You are made Designated Driver of the night by a controversial game of “Superman, Superman fly away.”

9:46 – You really want to drink beer, badly.

9:48 – Friends invent new drinking game that is both awesome and easy to understand.

9:55 – You make a case to stay in the night while your friends make fun of your lazy nipple. You immediately regret taking off your shirt at the request of your friends.

10:03 – The rowdiness level has gone up steadily every second you entered the house. Your friends are now annoying to anyone not drunk.

10:04 – You are now packed in a car with your friends.

10:04 – The smell of fart permeates from the back of the automobile. Surprisingly not funny to you.

10:15 – Destination reached.

10:25 – It should obviously be 12:00 but your watch and the time of others clearly shows 10:25.

10:30 – You have entered a time zone where time does not actually move forward but for the slightest increments.

10:33 – The thought of getting drunk and totally screwing your friends over crosses your mind. You would absolutely go through with the plan if only you were drunk enough to go through with it.

11:15 – You finish the beer you have been nursing for the past hour. Your friend Mike is now grinding your other friend Paul as Mike’s girlfriend looks on in horror. You try to explain that Sexy Back is on and well, that’s kinda what they do…

11:25 – You have now given up on time and try to convince your self that you are having a good time.

11:25 – You realize you are not having a good time.

11:34 – Still not having a good time.

11:45 – “No man I don’t have to drink to have a good time.”

11:45 – You must drink to have a good time.

12:00 – Last call in two hours. Solitary tear rolls down cheek.

12:15 – Friend Mike almost pukes then passes out. You hold back the cheers and help him out the door.

12:25 – With Mike passed out in the back you take the “brahs” on a late night eating run.

12:45 – This normally tastes good when I am drunk…

1:15 – Friends out of your car, mission accomplished, on your way home!

1:15 – Your car still smells like farts…


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