Marriage is a funny thing. Actually, no it’s not. Strike that thought and we will move right along. Marriage is scary as shit.
There, that’s more like it.
I now have 23 days left of life as I have always known it. Soon, the days of waking up when ever I goddamn please , and eating whatever satisfies me and my taste buds is over. It will soon be replaced by Sunday drives to Home Depot, and trying to make my shits as quiet as possible. Allow me to say, I love this girl. I guess it’s a pretty good thing that I decided to marry her then.
I just wanted to take this time to say good-bye to life as it was. For 31 years I have been responsible for just me. I haven’t necessarily been successful in this endeavor. If raising myself was a career choice, I would have been canned a while ago. I am fat, drink too much, eat too often and find cartoons way too funny for my own good.
In a way I am puzzled what would drive some mad person to say yes to the all-important question uttered from my mouth.
Well, now I have another person to think about, and that scares me.
I am not bothered by the fear in the least. I think fear can be the best emotion we have at times. I would rather be scared to death about the next step than be blase about it. So here I am. Standing atop the precipice ready to leap. So how do I enjoy my last vestiges of bachelorhood before I jump? Beer, Dodgers and a sofa, I hope she knows what she is getting into.